Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Live and Let Sleep..social life for runners wives

Go early...leave early, this sums up any social occasion except if its a room filled with other runners then it could last up and over till 11pm.
Runners do not like to eat after 7pm as a general rule, you also should be prepared to give fat grams per serving.
Take note that red wine intake is not a problem nor is beer, the more the better.
The have innate radar as to any mayo or saturated fats that may have been secretly slipped in to a dish.When discovering this they will feign fullness and ask to take the offending item home for later consumption .During coffee the runners decline into a mega stupor, beware if runners sit anywhere
comfortable they slip into unconsciousness.
Now is the time to exit quickly, and to listen to explanations as to why he was so tired,how many miles he ran which explains his narcoleptic tendency.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Exihibations or not to Exihibat that is the question?

The only answer frankly if you don't run is NO DON"T GO! If you don't run other than trying out the new veggie chicken nuggets not much there to attract you eye.
It is rolls and booth's of running gear and bottles and out fits and shorts and t shirts and jackets and leotards, all with illuminating tape that glows at night or has the name Boston or a swoosh whatever on it.
For those of you who like me are 5ft. 6 and over 150lbs. spandex is not friendly in any shape or form it reveals things we don't even allow our spouses to see in pitch black rooms lite with a night lite.
My runner has often remarked that my participation in these social type events might be a chance to make new fiends?? I have tried to make eye contact [ mind you I was wearing my foster grants at the time] no one approached me, could it have been the then cigarette pkg clutched firmly in my hand.
This might have sent out a silent signal, I don't run, get it got it good!!
Lets face it these events are for the intense in your face , gotta have the latest stuff and not for us poor schmucks just skipping or walking briskly I might add thru life.

Excibitions or not to Excibit that is the question?

Saturday, April 25, 2009

The wife the Run forgot!

As embarrassing as this may be to post , it has to be addressed as it can happen to you!
Never ever allow your runners eyes to leave yours, if they do you will no longer exist in his dominion.As the saying goes outta site outta mind.
This happened to me the first time I accompanied him to Boston.It was the day after we arrived and he was so revved along with all his other running friends outside the hotel lobby on hitting the runners exhibition downtown, that when the shuttle bus arrived to take us all to the R line he neglected to remember I was there in the lobby and left without me.

He noticed I was not present only
after a half hour ride while disembarking from the shuttle and going into the transit station.
I his wife was meanwhile checking train departures from Amtrak on the front desk computer leaving that day.
We were not in a happy place as you can well guess.
Needless to say, I do not bother going anymore , I only need one hint, if you don't talk the talk or run the run don't bother coming cause you ain't much fun.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

There was an ill wind blowing me hardies!

The weather although perfect for running apparently , was unfortunately trashed by nasty head winds whipping right into those poor runners faces chests and legs BURRRRR.
The Winners were as follows { not my husband over all in the elitist men}
It was Da Riva Merga from Nigeria his time 2.o8
Ryan Hall tough go buddy USA his time 2.09
First woman haven't a clue her name but do know she was Kenyan.
First place in wheel chair was from Japan Wakako Tushuka
As per usual first place in men wheel chair was Van Dyke again
The temperature was at 44 degrees in Boston.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Runners take your Marks!

Today is the Holiest of Holy days for Runners its the Boston Marathon Race day.
Monday April 20th is the running of the 113 Boston Marathon, which was first started in 1897 when the starting line was drawn by I believe it was a Mr. Brown and 18 runners ran the first race. Todays race starts are a little more contrived.
The Woman elitist runners started 28 minutes prior to the elitist men, the woman to beat is Kara Goucher, who came 1st in the NYC marathon of 2008. Just image it was only 1972 when women were allowed to legally run the marathon, I know I burn't at least two
push up bra's towards that one.
There are 163 countries viewing this race as its telecast.
The second wave of Racers are the Paraplegic wheelchair race, its starting time was at 9.22 * time winner Eric Van Dyke a Para Olympiaian is geared to win it it again.

Finally at 10 am the first wave followed quiclky by the second wave and the rest of the marathoners started as they all start in the town of Hockington outside of Boston.

The Prime choice to win is an American called Ryan Hall who ran London in 2008 at 2.06
The second is a Nigerian a tall Nigerian at 5ft.10 inches called Robert Cheraugot , his time is 2.07,

he is followed by another Nigerian with the same name but no relation called Evans Cheraugot
who's time is also 2.06.

So far its Hall in the lead, although he's loked back at the pack twice very unsusall to do this as it takes seconds of your time.
The results will be posted tommorow for those who like me, have one running with rest of the heard that is nondiscribt in todays race.
BYe for now.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Venting off from my left Ventricol or any other orifice

As you have deduced I don't care for running I can however give you advice from years of abuse should you choose to stay the course with the one you love.I can train you in how not to be assimilated.
Running in someone like me causes extreme rapid eye twitching and thoughts of Harri Kari[ race]did I just say the r word Dam I'll try not to do that again.
My husband started by giving me the" RUN AROUND" Just a quick run hon, I'll run over and get it for you, I ran by and picked this up, I just raced over to get done early.
He tried to run me down with this subtle infusion of the R word.
A runners mantra I believe is that resistance is futile''jean Roddenberry's alien spieces the Borg..". they all look alike, Sometimes I think what lures those unsuspecting wives or husbands are not the nifty outfits but the pasta dinners prior to the race with salad and water.YUM!
A non runner can also develop the Stockholm syndrome, if you can't fight em join em.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Run Fat Boy Run into Bean pole guy

When a runner takes up the road every day, physical changes occur.First their attire changes from track pants to more trendy {hey I'm a real runner wear}.
The body , well lets put it this way ; remember those buns ...gone ..if your looking for firm abs...its not happening..concave chest and ribs appear, rippling muscles...not on those arms try a little lower on the thighs,and calf's.
First place to change is the face it diminishes losing that precious fat that some pay thousands to have in injected, so's not to look gaunt or sunken in.
As I said the chest and arms deflate as the thigh's and calf's inflate{why does Popeye come to mind}As the waist grows smaller and the spare tire is left empty it folds over on itself resembling a folded napkin where beneath can be found the belly button,{attention excess
skin from too much weight loss does not ever become taunt again it has to be surgically removed with a knife!
Remember those firm tight buns well now their flat and kinda bony......sigh!
I only tell you all this so that if your loved one becomes assimilated{ star trek reference]you will have some coping skills to deal with it.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Marathon history lesson 101....

The first actual marathon runner was a Greek messenger called Philipedees{ hey its Greek and I don't know how to spell in Greek}He ran from a place allegedly called marathon{ would I lie to you}, who after delivering a vital message about an on coming possible invasion delivered the message and croaked!
I have deduced that this too may be the only cure to running addiction.

While one cannot dispute the benefits of running- thigh like frogs- strong lungs ,very helpful when balloons or air mattresses need blowing up.Viral hearts , these are needed since most of these runners work in offices or have cushy jobs.
The other very noticeable fall out from running is the putrid odor of metal that is emitted from the release of body toxins.
My children and I can tell you to the nanosecond when my hubby has arrived home from a run.
Not just the smell but the shoes strewn by the front door which we all trip over, followed by wet sweat laden clothes dropped on the bathroom floor, some days you might find a" surprise " a toe nail generally the big toe on the floor with a trail of blood droplets leading to our bedroom over the light beige carpet.
Who am I to complain, I'm just the Runners Wife!

Monday, April 13, 2009

DONNY AND Marie- NO its those darn adorable kids


These are my two prodigies , Owen and Eme do it or the Kids!
Easter morning in the kitchen just after the Easter chocolates were yes , yes treats were given, he's 30 she is 19 go figure. He visits, she lives at home and goes to school.They are both leaving for England on the 21st of this month for England.Vacation.
The runner, Captain crunch is leaving for Boston yet AGAIN , what is this the 9th or 10th time,so I will be alone , nothing new there.
Think I'll go on a Mad shopping spree.
Wonder what time the dollar store opens at the plaza?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Here comes Danny cottontail running down the trail


Happy Easter to all!
We, the family celebrated at my sister Lucia's house and had a fabulous time.THERE WERE 14 OF US, WE WERE MISSING MY BROTHERS MOTHER IN LAW AND HIS BROTHER IN LAW ,Elizabeth AND CARL. ALSO MISSING BUT CLOSE IN OUR HEARTS WAS BARBRA.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Roam or not Rome

Runners in my Opinion they are the quasi Roman soldiers of the 21st century- not marching all roads but running them, not conquer and pillage lands but to raise vast amounts of money to wipe out horrible diseases in our time... their conquest is well timed!

In ancient time too toto

Phot op's of related running gear!


Sleevless with a V neck , although in black and white the photo does show its an animal print top with black thigh high shorts . Sunglasses are always worn on the hat , its a fashion risk but you gotta go for it.

To the Bat cave Robin!


Runners often congregate in packs and revert to a primal group, they converge in places called "Running Rooms" why am I not surprised! They merge here and share ideas, purchase wick absorbing clothes and try and buy the latest sleek air light runners. Happily chirping away until dusk- then like vampire bats swarming out of their bat cave they've emerge on to the road having donned reflective gear to avoid being clipped by cars and A TV's. Down streets they run meandering around and thru parks, back country roads , along board walks you'll hear the the tempo beat heel toe ,heel toe in rythem.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Road Warrior Wear

The "Gear" as its known in running lingo consists of T-shirts made of wick absorbing fabric, high cut loose shorts or skin tight long tights with reflective stripes on the side.
For die hard the socks must be cushioned.
In addition there are heart monitors; nipple covers { you heard it here ladies} the t shirts rub against their nipples and they bleed when they run.
Sports watches that give and monitor heart rate and track pace and keep time.
Then there's the open weave baseball hats and the sporty light as feather shades.
These clothes allow the runner to be free from all restraints, able to feel like the runners of ancient Greece
Except they do not generally perish at the end of their marathons now.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Mind Set..Running on Time

Runners share one thought- one dream-one all encompassing obsession..they need to run and to record details of that run- an on going record:what time did they run
the length of the run
the terrain of the roads, hills flats, valleys
weather conditions , rain snow sleet hail
wind velocity
how they felt during the run,after the run
any sprains, cramps or other physical distress
There are journals sold for just such a reason...go figure
On their return they compare the results to endless lists of previous training records hoping to shave off a second here and there.
When not running the read books about [what else] other runners, they email each other, share techniques{ what one foot in front of the other is hard] they compare and critique.
All this amounts to is its a catalyst for a faster run in a shorter time.
Lord help me!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Warning Warning Will Robinson!

I should have seen it coming, the day my husband came home and informed me he was going for a little jog. This he was told by his new found friend Caesar at the Gym told him would give him more stamina{ for what he sits and drives for a living}and with that first incestuous whisper he became hooked. Had I known then what I know now I would have put the knife to Caesar{e Tu Brute}.
Ladies , running does not increase a man's stamina, if any thing it sucks the life out of them!
Some days depending on the distance they can barley stay awake thru dinner ..let alone a night of love,truth is if there is any energy left lovemaking can be timed in the 2 minute mile.{ may i just say this is the only record they will ever beat!}It's over before it even gets started, as you lie there in bewilderment while herolls over and snores merrily away. Its only the photo of his childrens beaming faces that prevent me from pacing the pillow over his face and sitting on it.I doubt he'd even wake up.
Eureka.. heres another thought perhaps this failure to perform could be eliminated if I were to initiate foreplay with a 'starters pistol" and present him with a shiny medal at the end....

Friday, April 3, 2009

It is " Good Friday" for those of you of the Roman Catholic religion , its a day for inner reflection and to go do the stations of the cross.For the rest of you its a weekend as per usual.

I originally posted this blog to out ward reflect about how I feel about being a runners wife.
I had deviated from that course and will now try and set that right.

Hi, you don't know me, I am a woman whose husband runs around.
He does this on a regular basis, even boasts when hes' going out to it and with whom.
At times he'll brag it's to be a group event, eight or ten of them together. This usually occurs three to five times a week including Saturday and Sunday morning!
Some times he's been known to go out of town or the province and the country.
The Impetus of all this running around was to qualify for the "Boston Marathoon".!!

Tomorrow..... I should have seen this coming.

Have a great weekend and don't forget to get your Palms on Plam Sunday.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

It's April Fool's Day,
I have no joke to play
My mind has drawn a blank
But I can leave a quote but its in Latin
Certe, ToTo, sentio nos in Kansate non iam adesse!